There is something to be said for a man who is openly ready for marriage. There’s something very compelling and attractive about a man who knows what he wants out of his life and who he wants to spend his life with.
I’ve been reading the book He’s Just Not That Into You, and I have to say, there are a lot of weirdos out there. There’s the men who never want to get married (and then surprise, six months later he’s married to some 23 year old he met at his gym). There’s the men who say they want to get married, and then they continue to avoid the conversation. It’s not that he’s unsure whether or not he wants to get married. He’s not sure whether or not he wants to get married to you. And if he can’t see how awesome you are, screw him.
There’s the men who, rather than conduct a conversation about marriage, just completely disappear–I call this “ghosting.” There was a great (and by great, I mean horrible) ghosting story that I came across in He’s Just Not That Into You. This woman and her boyfriend of six months took a trip to Florida together. When they got back, he flew home to Boston or something because there were family matters that needed sorting out. She never heard from him again. He just up and walked out of the middle of their relationship, with absolutely no warning. I can’t even being to imagine how frustrating that would be. You’re building your life with someone, making plans, and then he up and disappears.
These are just a few of the reasons why there’s something to be said for marriage-minded men, like Mr. Collins. (Pause for booing and popcorn throwing.) I’m not 100 percent sure why people carry so much hatred for Mr. Collins, but he’s not a malicious, ass-holey character–that’s Wickham’s job–so just chill out for a second, please. Mr. Collins is an incredibly awkward human being. But he had good intentions. He provided Charlotte Lucas with a comfortable and stable home–something that wasn’t a guarantee of a woman of her age and station–and I want to give him credit for that. Lady Catherine ordered him to marry, so he found a woman who would accept him.
Am I saying Mr. Collins is perfect, flawless? No. But I don’t know why people insist on condemning him for behavior that he thought was perfectly amiable and polite. We all know awkward people, and we cut them some slack. Cut him some slack. Think about everything he did for Charlotte. While his company wasn’t exactly stimulating, I’m sure they lived a comfortable life together. He offered her everything she was looking for–probably more than she ever expected. So I want to give him credit where credit is due.
That turned into more of a rant that I had expected–sorry! But I have to say, isn’t it refreshing when a guy knows what he wants in a relationship and is honest about it–not only to you, but also to himself? He doesn’t say or pretend that he’s ready for marriage when he’s not. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to waste my time; I’ve got better things to do than to wait around for a guy who doesn’t quite know what he really wants. So I want to briefly applaud Mr. Collins for at least knowing what he wanted and going for it.
He’s not Mr. Bingley or Mr. Darcy. No one will probably ever say the words, “I’m looking for my Mr. Collins.” That’s just not really a thing. Mr. Collins is not end game. But he’s not some bad guy to be condemned, either. We can dump on Wickham, who truly deserves it. (I mean, what a douche canoe, right?) But Mr. Collins is only guilty of trying too hard (why are you commenting on someone’s “excellently boiled potatoes?” Just say the meal tastes wonderful like a normal person, you weirdo), being ill-bred, and awkward. And I hope you won’t condemn me for defending a dislikable character. But let’s be honest: there are worse things that could’ve happened to Charlotte Lucas than becoming “Mrs. Collins.”