I want to understand how a girl unwilling to settle finds her ideal man in this day and age. Maybe I have an unconventional approach to love, potentially bordering on unrealistic in reality. Then again, why should I have to settle for anything less than what I want? Is it so impossible that I should yearn for something extraordinary rather than just plain ordinary?
And what I want is to be head-over-heels, stay-up-til-two-in-the-morning-talking, in love. To be quite honest, I don’t see much of that sort of love anymore–which leads me to wonder if that type of love is purely fictional.
I see it on television. I watch it unfold in the theaters. I anxiously turn page after page to see if the guy gets the girl. (If it’s Nicholas Sparks, I’ll save you a few hundred pages of suspense; he does.) It’s like I’m pressed up against a window. I can see it, but I can’t touch it; I can’t feel it. But with my nose pressed up against the glass, I’m better able to see what love has been reduced to in our modern day.
I look around restaurants and watch couples spend entire evenings engrossed in their phones, scrolling Instagram rather than gazing into their lover’s eyes. I see a marriage become a matter of convenience and routine rather than of true happiness. In turn, I see love fade, cheating ensue, with a divorce soon to follow. And I wonder–is this all I have to look forward to? A temporary love that results in me being catapulted back into the dating pool in 20 years when we can no longer stand the sight of each other?
Not to say that I don’t ever see those rare, truly in-love couples. My grandparents are one such couple. My friend Cassie and her adorable Irishman are one of those couples, too. (Their meet-cute is a story for another day. But never fear; we’ll get there.)
After witnessing such relationships, I start to wonder whether or not dating is even worth it anymore. But then why do I constantly feel as if there is something wrong with me because I’m not in a serious relationship? I’m surrounded by friends who will all be engaged within the next two years (at a maximum). When your close friends start suggesting you try Coffee Meets Bagel, how am I supposed to feel? Supported in my singleness? Probably not. Desperate? Maybe. Depressed? Let’s talk in another year.